Hello my precious Dreadfuls,
The new season is here! How excited are you?
Before we start, a reminder of what happened last season:
First I want to start by congratulating myself for watching this in the middle of the night.
-Nice job, Ã–zge
-Why, thank you.
Let’s get on with the recap then.
Snow and peaceful first scene? Come on show, you can’t fool me.
There she is. I’ve missed Vanessa. She doesn’t look very happy.
People are playing in the snow, which cheers her up a bit.
Madame Kali disagrees.
She starts saying things which roughly translate to:
â€œCome to the dark side, we have handsome devilsâ€ Trust me. I’m a professional translator.
Please stop. This girl is just trying to take a walk in the park.
Vanessa isn’t interested but Madame Kali keeps talking on and on about this handsome devil and Vanessa can’t take it anymore.
It must be pretty annoying to have a creepy lady trying to summon the devil inside you, I guess.
She has visions of dreadful things like blood and other devil stuff.
A nice gentleman wants to make sure she’s okay.
Did she just use the force on him?
â€œThis is not the possessed Victorian lady youâ€™re looking for.â€
Don’t forget she’s trying to resist the devil at the same time.
But Madame Kali looks satisfied.
â™ª â™¬ Best intro ever â™ª â™¬
I’ve even missed the intro, yes. I actually feel warmth and happiness as I watch the names appear on the screen.
Fun fact: The first season premiered on my birthday. (May 11. I’ll be waiting for your gifts.) Do you think that’s a sign this show and I are meant to be? I think so.
Ethan must have a hell of a hangover right now.
I wish this was a casual thing on the show so Victor could walk in and being the cold sass master he is, say something like I love what you’ve done with the place.
But Ethan’s horrified. Too many calories.
Sorry, wrong show.
He finds his bestie: Vanessa The Possessed.
Vanessa tells the driver to go anywhere he likes and he’s happy like: Omg finally a day for me.
Vanessa’s waiting for Ethan to speak.
He tells her he needs to go away.
He tries to subtly tell her his problem.
Must be awkward coming out as a werewolf. But exorcising her once seems to help him feel safe enough to confide in her.
Whoa that was such a fanfic moment. Car stops and two hot people crash into each other.
What the hell, Josh. My heart skipped a beat. (The scenes with special angelic lighting on his soft, luscious hair should come with a warning.)
Are these the Lady Gaga vampires again?
Why are they leaving? What’s happening?
Ethan’s asking “Are you okay?”
“Yeahh YOLO!” *Vanessa gets on top of the carriage and parkours away after the naked babies*
Okay, that’s not what happens.
The weird babies turned into three cloaked ladies so they’re not vamps.
Is there like a certain fashion rule every creature must follow? Vampires are all blonde with straight hair.
These with curly hair and that naked look.
SNOW, MUSIC, EMOTION.
I admit, this show wins. It’s my favorite, always.
This episode’s a lot more more slow paced but it still gives me anxiety so, well done, show.
Just give me a second.
*Stops* *Puts hands on knees* *Pants*
Guess where we’re off to now! Loving the London scenery and the zooming thing.
Look, it’s our Frankenstein and his monster, creating their bride.
I laughed so hard at this part:
Caliban, you clueless monster baby.
Caliban: Weâ€™ll seek the shadows together then.
Victor: *Stares.* All right.
This episode is recapping itself.
They put her in water.
Yes, marinate your lover overnight before she’s ready. Take notes, everyone (don’t.)
They’re literallty talking about the weather, hoping for storms.
Caliban’s such a teenager. He says he’s going to look for a job. He’s probably blaming Victor for the economy.
Victor’s asking if they’ll be done after this.
Victor: *rips shirt* * sings*: AGONY!
With the music rising I honestly thought he was gonna break into a song. This episode has that musical atmosphere.
Back with Ethan, Sembene and Vanessa.
“What were they?”
(Actually laughing as I type this.)
She’s like: Can’t I catch a break?
Ethan: Vanessa baby what do you need?
Vanessa’s totally mad at him for wanting to leave.
Ethan says he’ll be back.
Sembene and Vanessa are talking. Are they gonna hug? It’d be nice.
Again with the “Do you believe” questions. Yes! Everybody believes everything because it’s all real in this show.
Ethan, are you gonna wait there all night?
A curly haired lady’s spying on Ethan.
Aww Malcolm and his wife are looking at Mina’s grave.
“Gladys, that’s your name, right?”
“Stay away from me.”
“U stay in London u filthy bastard.”
(Are we ever going to meet Jonathan Harker or a Dracula by the way?)
Caliban also looks like he’ll break into song.
He meets this super chill dude who recreates murders with wax people.
A great job for Caliban.
Victor’s love of talking to dead people reaches another stage where we all scream and throw things at the screen and cringe forever.
I actually made an entire conversation here but I creeped myself out so let’s not do that.
Victor goes to talk to Brona’s dead body.
Then he just starts touching her, it’s not really weird at first but then…
*Shivers* Bleagh. Okay, Victor I know you’re lonely buddy. But please find someone who can give you permission to grab their boob.
Thankfully someone’s at the door so he stops.
If Brona could speak she’s probably say “Leave me alone.”
Thank you Sembene for showing up.
Okay okay, let’s rewind. Sembene didn’t know what Victor was doing.
If you say so.
Sembene sees right through you, Victor.
Yes, Victor, you’re a little shit indeed.
Back at the wax people place:
Caliban meets a blind girl who seems to work there. She looks lovely and I’m scared for her.
I’m calling it: This girl + Caliban, Victor + Brona. Then again with the way this show’s going we never know.
But the man here isn’t as nice as the Shakespeare guy, he wants to make money off Caliban. Rude. He might be a “nice guy” monster but he’s still our monster, I think.
Vanessa’s real glad Malcolm’s back. Their relationship changed so much. Malcolm seems to care about her deeply but he was a douche in the majority of the first season so it’s surprising and endearing at the same time.
I love it when they’re all in the same room.
Aww Ethan’s worried.
Vanessa’s telling them about the naked monsters and how they spoke a twisted form of angelic speech. Ethan tells the story and Victor’s not believing this. He says it’s a myth. Remember, he sees what he does as science so it’s hard for him to accept the reality of other stuff like angels and devils.
Also I love how he’s still sassing Ethan. A lot of nerve when you just touched his dead lover’s boob.
Vanessa doesn’t think anyone can help her but Malcolm says he’ll do anything to protect her and they’ll all be there for her.
Sembene asks what they were and Vanessa says they were witches.
In the meantime, creepy mom of the creepy witches sings in the bathroom.
They’re talking about Vanessa and saying Ethan’s her protector. (I have feels in my eyes)
Are they gonna make out? I’m thinking they’re not actually mother and daughter.
So “Master” is the devil but also the same Master Mina and the other vamps were talking about, right?
It’s the Devil trying to romance Vanessa into darkness. And these are his matchmaker friends.
The mother’s disappointed and the sweetest looking witch says Vanessa spoke verbis diablo.
Madame Kali/The Mother/Evelyn tells the story of everyone must remember they will die. “Memento mori” she says.
Is she gonna kill the witch? She’s so sweet don’t kill her. This frustrates me the most about “villains”. Do you people grow on trees? Why would you waste one of your kind? Ugh.
I liked her better than the hissing one. (Seriously what’s up with her?)
This is a cool ring, though.
Back at the Murray residence, Ethan’s so smooth: “I’m crashing here.”
He just casually moved in and Malcolm’s pleased.
All we need is Victor to join them to complete the family but he’s in a hurry to raise Brona from the dead.
“Let her live now!”
“We’re horny now!”
Even the way Brona wakes up is graceful. Compare her elegance to Caliban who was screaming in agony, completely out of control and terrified. Proteus’ birth was silent and gentle. Brona’s graceful and baby-like.
Again with Ethan, Vanessa, who have this late night stare-off:
This is Victorian Porn, people.
Vanessa, go to sleep.
This isn’t the time to finger paint.
We’re having an intense prayer battle scene.
Naked babies appear in Vanessa’s room but then they’re gone.
Vanessa truly looks afraid and it breaks my heart.
Leave my sweet Vanessa alone, you creep babies. *Holds her forever, keeps her safe*
Can’t wait to see the rest of the season.
Bring it on, show.