“Why am I doing this” I ask myself as I edit the screencaps of American Horror Story: Hotel‘s first episode. But I could probably ask the same question to Ryan Murphy about certain scenes. (Hi, Ryan! WHY, Ryan?)
If we talk about the previous seasons, my personal relationship with AHS has been just me checking every season’s premiere to see if I’m interested in going any further. So far I’ve completed two seasons, one being the beloved first season “Murder House” and the other is “Coven.” (Which was fun for the most part.)
I admit that the season premiere “Checking In” had certain moments that made me ask myself if I wanted to keep watching but I survived AND spent two days working on this recap, so there must be hope. Also the talented and beautiful cast is definitely one of the factors that keep me interested in the show.
Matt Bomer & Kathy Bathes, this one’s for you.
The episode starts with someone gently knocking, knocking at our door.
Imagine seeing this outside your hotel room.
So we don’t know what this guy’s deal is but he was having a mental breakdown or something.
A couple of Swedish ladies show up at the hotel. They talk about wanting to visit Universal Studios and maybe see Vin Diesel but the hotel isn’t really close to anywhere they want to go. So when they step inside and see that “It’s like a tomb” they decide not to stay.
Yeah, receptionist ( Iris ) says they’ve already paid for one night so they might as well stay.
I also feel like she’s talking to us “Trust me, this place will grow on you.”
We’ll see, adorably creepy Receptionist Iris / Kathy Bates.
Later she looks into the camera with some sort of sadistic anticipation.
Later one of the girls (Vendela) goes to get some ice and runs into a maid who’s super chill about washing blood and looks kind of ghostly.
Then this brat comes up with his “Shining” routine.
Because that’s not creepy at all…
I‘d be throwing holy water at that kid if he just stood and stared at me in the hallway of an old hotel.
Someone reaches for her hair as she gets ice.
Whose hand is this? That glove rocks. (That’s a glove, right? You never know with monsters)
She feels something’s off but then returns to the room to find her roomie complaining.
Uh, hate it when that happens.
Agnetha suspects the smell’s coming from their bed.
So Vendela decides to check with a knife and it turns out, their room came with a surprise guest. Yay?
I got the best caps during this scene:
The opening credits aren’t nearly as disturbing as the previous seasons. Actually it’s kind of funny.
My favorite monster so far.
Just something special about this one.
Back with the girls who are alive and unhappy.
Iris tells them they’ll get arrested for evasion if they leave so they agree to stay in another room until the police comes.
They’re EATING her friend. These girls have the worst luck.
Then we see a detective walking to a crime scene somewhere else.
Our detective John Lowe has a permanent frown which reminds me of this guy:
Honestly, he kind of seems like a poor man’s Will Graham so far with his insight on the killer’s motives. (#SaveHannibal)
John’s currently working on a case about someone who punishes people for committing adultery and possibly other sins as well.
(How dare you.)
The male victim who had his tongue cut makes pleading noises for them to actually save him from the situation he’s in, instead of just standing there.
Later John looks at murder photos.
Surprise: He has a cute daughter.
He reads her “Little Women”Â ( which is really cute and one of my favorite lines is in the same section: “He was as nervous as a witch and as cross as a bear.” )Â
No, it’s Daddy & Daughter time.
Don’t interrupt him.
Why is he so mad though?
He receives another call, from a persistent dude who just wants to hear his voice.
Take a hint, murderer dude on the phone.
In the meantime we were blessed with this cutiepie named Gabriel and I was so surprised to see Max Greenfield.
He says it’s bullshit to pay so much for the room and Iris’ face is sooo much fun. And by “fun” I mean “murderous”.
She gives him the room 64, which is the number the creep on the phone gave detective John.
Back to Max / Gabriel, I was ridiculously excited to see him. His character seems interesting and entertaining and I loved his interaction with Iris / Kathy Bates. I hope he’s safe for a few more episodes. (ha ha)
Then this lady called Sally shows up and looks like a total predator.
Hmm, these two don’t really seem to like each other.
Gabriel goes to the room and after he shoots heroin he sees the happy maid.
And this is when the scene that definitely didn’t need to be that long happens and Gabriel gets raped by this horrible demon guy with some spike dildo and it makes no sense. I wondered why it happened and what was the purpose of the scene and all I could find online was how Ryan wanted to show how horrible Gabriel’s addiction was.
So this demon is drawn to addicts? And was the assault a physical manifestation of what the addiction does to a person’s soul or was it a punishment from the demon’s perspective? Either way it was horrible. So let’s ignore that part and move on for our sanity’s sake.
She gives him the keys and asks Liz Taylor to take him to the room.